I am here recuperating from an enforced period of ‘rest’
after severe pain in my spine and hip and I’ve been noticing some interesting and
worrying attitudes to rest.
There’s a big community (on Linked In especially) that is
all about how wonderful their lives and businesses are but disturbingly the old “I’ll
sleep when I’m dead” attitude seems to be emerging again.
During the hard, isolating times of covid lockdowns many
people got a fresh perspective on the concept of work, rest and play. Many
suddenly realised how vital their wellbeing was to success – not just survival.
But even wellbeing has become another pressure to add to the
diary rather than the idea of true rest.
My enforced rest has mostly not felt very restful, as I
battle with pain and not being able to walk properly much of the time. But today - having a better day on that dial of pain - I am starting to see a new truth in this time
of a forced stop.
I am starting to dream again – not just be stuck in the
doing of work and life. I am starting to dare to imagine a different way
of working and thriving and I am finding an ambitious hunger that has been
dormant for years.
Dreams that were trampled on by others, dreams that were
halted by situations, dreams that I didn’t speak up for, I could blame others, but in truth my dreams were kept caged out of
fear and lack of self-belief.
But as Marianne Williamson said
“Our deepest fear is not that we
are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is
our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I
to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure
around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make
manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's
in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our
presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne
Williamson,
A Return to Love:
Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
I haven’t got a solid plan yet – but it is shaping, it is
shaping through true rest. It is shaping through the different perspectives of good
reads, powerful TV role models, sleep and meditation and through a true dreaming.
I am realising that
even the last 10 years of holidays have been all about doing – partly with entertaining
young children but also in the choice of holiday – it’s either a retreat to’
get better at being me’ or it’s a family holiday with all the ‘do, do, do’ of
expectation. When is the last time I was able to simply be – and what can I
learn from it?
I’ve had to be present with severe physical pain and I start
to realise that I am not a minority.
A survey from Medserena showed one in seven people
experience back pain each day - an estimated 2.5 million people in the UK – at a
cost of over £1billion in the NHS. A problem that impacts almost all age groups
not just the elderly.
I want to take action to help others. I want to write. I
want to support and inspire people.
I want to run a business that supports and nurtures talent,
that enables me to make a bigger difference to inequalities – particularly in
health.
I don’t have all the answers yet but what I am noticing is
that rest is different to my more methodical meditation practice. Yes this
matters, just as exercise and my physio and making conscious choices about food
and nutrition, but rest was missing – not just good sleep – but this time to
really enjoy being me, to take my foot off the gas and be present (yes with
pain) but also possibilities of who I am and how everyday is an opportunity to
be more me, to reach for the change that I want to see in the world and to lead
and inspire others.
When is the last time you stopped to truly rest and what did
it teach you?
And if like so many that I know – you’ve never tried it.
Give yourself a gift and press pause, just for once you might surprise yourself
at the wonder of you that you find there.
Thanks to Hobim aka Çiğdem Onur for the amazing picture (find her on Pixabay) - this image to me shows me trying to rest grapling pain and in search of magic /healing in my conscious and unconscious dreams
